Barcoleta Anglisht

Ketu Mund Te Gjeni Barcoleta Anglsiht Dhe te Postoni

A husband and wife
A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating
up, but then the wife stops and says “I don’t feel like it, I just want
you to hold me.”
The husband says “WHAT??”
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs
as a Woman.
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he
might as well deal with it.
The next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store.
He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits and then
tells his wife, “We’ll take all three of them”. Next they go over and
get matching shoes worth $200 each. Finally. they goes to the Jewelry
Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings.
The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she
does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says “but you don’t even play tennis, but OK if you like it
then lets get it.”
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what
is going on. She says “I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register.”
The husband says,” no – no – no, honey we’re not going to BUY all this stuff.”
The wife’s face goes blank.
“No honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.”
Her face gets really red and she is about to explode and then the
Husband says “You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man!!!

1st day at school
A little boy’s first day in school and a teacher was going to play a
“guessing” game. She passed out items to each of the students and
proceeded to ask each student what item they received. When it was the
new boy, Jimmy’s turn, the teacher gave him a candy kiss.
She asked “Do you know what it is?” Jimmy replied “No.” The teacher
said, ” Go ahead and open it up and taste it.” Little Jimmy did so. The
teacher
then asked, “Now do you know what it is?” Little Jimmy said “Nooooo.”
The
teacher said, “I’ll give you a hint. “It is something your daddy wants
from
your mommy every morning before he goes to work.”
A little girl in the back of the class jumps up and screams,
“JIMMY, SPIT IT OUT. IT’S A PIECE OF ASS

Sex in the dark
Jane was becoming frustrated with her husband’s insistence that they
always have sex in the dark. Hoping to free him from his inhibitions,
during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp – only to discover a cucumber in his hand.
“Is THIS what you’ve been using on me for the past 10 years!?!”
“Honey! Let me explain!” “Why you sneaky bastard!”
she screamed. “You impotent SOB!!”
“Wait a minute! Speaking of sneaky!” he interrupted,
“Maybe you’d care to explain our 2 kids!!!

The Doctor
A sorority girl went to the doctor for a routine check-up.
The doctor asked her to take off her shirt for a breast exam.
When she did, there was a big letter T across her chest. The
doctor exclaimed, “What the heck is that?”
The woman replied, “My boyfriend plays for Tennessee and doesn’t
like to take his shirt off during sex.”
“Oh, I see,” the doctor said.
The next week another sorority girl came in and had a big P
across her chest. The doctor said, “What the heck is that?”
She said, “My boyfriend plays for Pittsburgh and doesn’t like
to take his shirt off during sex.”
“Oh, I see,” the doctor said.
The next day, another sorority girl came in and had a big W
across her chest. The doctor said, “Let me guess. Your
boyfriend plays for Wisconsin, and doesn’t like to take his
shirt off during sex.”
“No,” she said, “my girlfriend plays for Michigan!”

Blonde Jokes
1. Why can`t a blond count to 70? They have their mouth full after 69.
2. How do you get a blond to sitt on a chair? You turn the chair upsidedown.
3. What do you call a blond with 2 braincells? Pragnant.
4. What do you call a braincell in a blonds brain? Turist.
5. Why did the blond want to get over the glaswall? To see what`s on the other side.
6. What did the blond say when she woke up under a kow? Are you guys still here?
7. What`s the difference between a blond and HIV? HIV developes.
8. What´s does a blond and a boat have in common? They are both constantly wet.
9. What did the blond say when she was told that she had vacuum in her head? That`s better then nothing.
10.What does a blond and a bunjyjuump have in common? If the gumm brakes you are dead.
11.How do you make a blond laugh on Monday norning? Tell her a joke on Friday night.
12.What did the blond say to the stranger? Take your clothes of, I think I know you.
13.Why did the blond policeofficer shoot herself in the head? She shut a warningshot in the air.
14.What does the mother say to her blond dotter when she goes out? If you`re not in bed by ten, come home.
15.What does a blond say when she founds out she is pragnant? I really hope it`s mine.
16.Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.
17.What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer? You only have to punch information into a
computer once.
18.What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “Are you sure it’s mine?”
19.What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.
20.How do blonde braincells die? Alone.
21.How do you get a blond to climb on the roof? Tell her the drinks are on the house.
22.How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings? Tell them a joke on Friday night.
23.What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
24.Why did the blond climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
25.Why do brunettes think up so many blond jokes? Because they have nothing else to do on Saturday.

Divorce
A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home.
He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape
of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and
they’re all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching
some episodes of South Park. Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his bestfriend’s private.
After a few seconds, he does his business in her mouth and she turns and
spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks
at the camera and says, “By the way, I want a divorce.”

Police Joke
A policeman cruising past a bar after closing time notices two motor
bikes
still parked out front. He goes around the back of the pub only
to find two bikers, one with his fingers up the ass of the other.
“So, what’s going on here?”, the cop asks.
The biker replies, “My mate here has had too much to drink and I’m
trying to make him vomit.”
The cop says, “I think you should be sticking your fingers down his
THROAT!”
The biker replies, “That’s what I’m going to do next!”